Sometimes you need to write down what's going on in your head and in your emotions. Sometimes you simply just have to because you want to. But it's hard when you can't put everything down to words. When you don't know how to describe everything.
After a time when I've been calm inside-out I'm starting to come back to dreams that I put on hold. I've had a time when my soul has been calm. I'ts funny because it's been during a time when everything around me has been a mess. It's been chaos and stormy like never before but my soul has been calm. Everything within me has been relaxed. I've been feeling peace like never before about what's ahead. And now, a lot of things that I let go and let down is coming back up. And I have mixed feelings about that. I want to understand it. Because I'm starting to come to acceptanse that these things are who I am in a way. But I want to understand why I have these desires in my heart. Not just run with them. Therese before would've started to make plans and have the big question in my head "WHEN am I going? WHERE am I going?" and trying to solve and figure all that out right now. But Therese now don't feel that need or desire. I'm curious and want's to figure out what I need from where I am right now to be ready for what is coming. Even though my heart beats for adventure I have no need of planning for the future because God is already there and so will I in the right time. I don't want to let go of where I am right now.
Or maybe it's because summer is here and every summer my entire life has brought change? And now my heart and soul is set on that change will happen but it actually wont?